


wasn't fast enough

by stqrryniqhts



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Hurt Michelle Jones, Hurt Peter Parker, I cried while writing this, Michelle Jones dies, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, Sorry Not Sorry, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:54:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22310611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stqrryniqhts/pseuds/stqrryniqhts
Summary: Peter didn’t think that it would hurt this much.He had felt this feeling before, the numbness that weighs you down after you’ve lost someone you loved. But somehow it was different this time, like he couldn’t quite grasp what had happened.She had been right there, ready for him to save.Then, she fell.
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	wasn't fast enough

**Author's Note:**

> i've been trying to write for so long but it's all coming out as trash :(  
> sorry for this but i wanted to write something to keep yall somewhat active

Peter didn’t think that it would hurt this much.

He had felt this feeling before, the numbness that weighs you down after you’ve lost someone you loved. But somehow it was different this time, like he couldn’t quite grasp what had happened.

She had been _right there_ , ready for him to save.

Then, she fell.

-

The service was somewhat small. A handful of the decathlon team and then more of her immediate family. But one thing that Peter didn’t understand, was why there wasn’t any music.

_MJ loved music_.

Almost every memory of them together seemed to have a certain soundtrack to follow with it. When he held her hand at her grandmother’s funeral, the orchestra was soft and sorrowful. As she danced at the very first party they were invited to, the happiest song came to follow along with her smiling face.

Now, as he looks down at her lifeless body, he wishes he could have it all back.

So, no, this isn’t the same as the others he had lost. She was his, and he was hers.

And he had failed her.

-

“Hey, kid.” Tony says, as they are the last ones in the small funeral home. Peter is still sitting down, looking at her nicely done hair, the makeup that she never wore.

“She’s beautiful, Tony.” Peter whispers. “She never needed makeup to make her beautiful.” His hands rake through his hair, a silent gasp for air that he knew he needed as he lets his gaze fall to the ground.

“You were very strong today, Peter. I’m proud of you.” Tony says it softly, wiping a tear from the corner of his own eye.

“I was only strong because I had to be.” Peter feels his throat tighten, the air around him disappearing and the lump in his throat growing. “I had to be strong because I wasn’t strong enough for her.”

Tony thought back to that night.

The night when Peter came home, bruised and numb. The night when, Michelle’s parents had been notified of the murder of their own daughter. The night Peter explained what the unknown assassin had done to his everything.

And Peter cried.

God, Tony wasn’t sure if he could handle it.

The kid’s cries as he yelled out for MJ, for her to come back. His cries for his own actions, the things he did and didn’t do that could have saved her.

But Tony never really did know what had happened that night, and he wished he would have.

Tony pulls Peter closer, hoping that he will give his boy a small comfort. “What happened, Peter?” He whispers, afraid that if he’s any louder, the kid might break under pressure again.

Peter ponders this for a moment, the images flooding his head once again. He’s lived this memory a thousand times over by now. The threats from the masked man, himself yelling for MJ, only to watch her lifeless body fall to the ground. The pain of the memories slowly washes over him again, and it hurt _so fucking bad_. His chest tightens as he fights for another breath, and it amazes him that he’s gone this long without breaking.

“The masked man told me to stay still. He said that if I would come any closer, that he would shoot.” Peter looks up once again and then says with a broken voice, “I wasn’t fast enough.”

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't written in so long so sorry if this sucks :(  
> love you!


End file.
